I have a routine. Wake up, drink water. Take vitamins. Try to work in the yard or go for a walk. Eat breakfast, drink water. complete a chore. Read for an hour. Drink water. Take a nap. Make dinner. Drink water. Cry. Watch a show. Fall asleep.
It’s hard to make sense of anything outside my routine. I can do it, if I have enough time, and I go slow. Neither come easy for me. I can be still for periods of time, but consistent slowing down is not my comfort zone. I miss my quick and lively wit.
I have to keep track of time. I look at my calendar a lot. I have to check 3 times before information sinks in. Most of the time I have to say it out loud. “Acupuncture at 10 am Wednesday the 18th of July. Then therapy at 1pm.” If I don’t, I can end up following the next relief or place of comfort… I forget I made plans. I can forget life is still moving along.
I can forget, the layers of joy in life. Pastor David reminded me, ‘God does not want us to worry’. God wants us to love you. To keep living and showing up with our best selves. Whatever that looks likeZ
It’s painful to learn to tolerate and participate in the wonderful mundane day to day life with you Hazel. We miss you so much, and we look for you. We all miss you honey, my little nugget of love. ❤️🖤
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